The most recent, this time, from my bf: I need to dumb-down my blog posts.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but as soon as I have a pen (or keyboard in this case), I turn all Shakespeare/English Teacher – long words, flowery prose, etc. It’s like when you answer the phone and your voice automatically goes two pitches higher. Weird how that happens.
That's me getting ready to quote some Shakespeare
I guess I’ll try to be more myself. So, here’s a sampling of the unfiltered chaos going on in my head, and perhaps the reason I do take the time to think before I write. But she asked for it:
I should really go running right now. But then I’d have to change into exercise clothes, getting naked and cold in the process. And afterward I would have to shower, maybe even wash my hair if I get really sweaty, and that means I would have to straighten my hair again, which takes forever. And I hate that feeling of my throat and lungs burning, which will happen the very first mile since I haven’t jogged in weeks—
Stop making excuses and get your lazy, jiggly butt outside! Okay, I’ll do it! Oh wait, I think it might be windy outside. Yup, the trees in my front yard are swaying. If it wasn’t so windy, I would definitely go. Tomorrow’s supposed to be nicer, I’ll go then. Promise.
This is a picture of the tree blowing in my backyard right now!
Yeah, I think there might be a reason why we can’t read each other’s thoughts. Mine are pretty pathetic sometimes . . .
So anyways, my book got a plug in an article by an online news site:
It got so many hits that the editor called and asked if I would be interested in doing a featured interview on my novel, Reflection! I’m super excited!
Questions I hope they don’t ask me:
1. If I can cook (or how often I go to El Pollo Loco and buy their chicken chunks to use in my dinners - shhhh)
2. If I like vegetables
2. If I like vegetables
4. If I’ve ever had a burping contest with my brothers . . . and won!
5. How many times I wash my hair in a week (I know, I’m sort of a scum that way. But seriously, my hair never turns greasy)
6. If I’ve ever stolen anything (Okay, it was in like 5th grade and I really wanted a pair of Guess jeans – sorry Nordstrom!!!!)
7. If I've ever asked a friend to steal something for me (It’s just, I really wanted this tank top, and so I asked my bf [aren’t bf’s the best? haha] if she would steal it for me. I couldn’t do it; I had already been busted by Nordstrom for trying to steal Guess jeans and, as a result, had to write a 2,000 word essay to the police on why I wouldn’t steal anymore. Needless to say, I ended up writing my bf’s 2,000 word essay for her too. Yes, I learned my lesson.)
8. If I’ve ever taken a mug shot (Think I might want to explain this one too. Let’s just say it was a case of mistaken identity – sort of.)
9. How long it took to write Reflection (Because I would lie and say 2 years, when it really took more like 4, and I’m really trying not to white lie anymore, even when I’m running late for something and the person on the other end of the phone asks how far away I am.)
Questions I hope they do ask me:
1. If I’m a genuinely nice person
2. If I’ve learned, through experience, how to obey the law (Except that I have a lead foot when I drive, but I’m working on that too)
3. About my family (I love talking about them!)
4. If I played soccer for 10 years (left-wing forward!)
This was the year I got stung by a bee during a game – ouch!
5. If I’m a lefty!
6. If I’ve ever bungee jumped out of a hot air balloon (It was insane of me, but also insanely amazing!)
7. If my husband’s a stud (yep)
8. About my book (It’s my favorite thing to talk about lately)
Questions I would like to ask:
1. If they think we’ve landed on the moon (I’m a skeptic)
2. Why Cinnabon’s cinnamon rolls can’t have the same nutritional value as a bowl of carrots
which one would you reach for?
3. Why multi-level marketing gives me the willies
4. Why no one has invented toothpicks with one end bent at an angle, so we could all get to the back of our teeth
5. If they’ve read my book!
Now that you know WAY too much about me, I guess I’ll give you a quick book update and then sign off.
It’s been officially downloadable for 17 days now, and so far I’ve sold (hold on, let me check . . . [as if I don’t check every five minutes]). Okay, I’m back, and I’ve sold exactly 472 copies. I’m super excited about that, and thankful for all my supportive friends and family!
Grab a copy from Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, or Smashwords.com for $2.99. And I would LOVE your feedback. Remember to leave a review (but only if it’s positive – ha).
Okay, I think I’ll don my running shorts and venture into the wind!